LESBIAN TRAVEL: 4 things TO know before YOU hit THE road

Posted: 9/19/16 | September 19th, 2016

In this months LGBT column, Dani from GlobetrotterGirls discusses lesbian travel and shares 4 important thing every lesbian travler needs to know before heading out on the road.

While sitting at the rooftop pool of my hotel and sharing beers with other travelers over sunset, the ever-dreaded question comes up: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Here we go again, I think to myself, another coming out.

Though I’ve had this conversation hundreds of times, the words “I’m gay” still don’t come easily, especially because I never know what reaction to it will be.

Will the situation get awkward?

Will someone make a homophobic comment?

It’s never a simple affair. Instead, it usually results in a number of questions where I feel like I’m the ambassador of all things lesbian — scissoring, dildos, and why some women choose an androgynous look – to a group of strangers I just met.

Like gay travel, lesbian travel presents its own set of challenges.

If you are a femme lesbian or couple, it isn’t much different from solo female travel. nobody is looking at you funny, and you don’t need to feel particularly threatened in one of the over 70 countries where homosexuality is not legal (including 12 where it is punishable by death) — because nobody knows you’re a lesbian. When traveling with a feminine girl, it is usually more likely that we’ll get asked if we are sisters than lovers.

However, if you are a butch lesbian, it’s a completely different story. It’s much more obvious that you are gay, and you can’t hide your sexuality. If you are a femme/butch couple or butch/butch couple, it is nearly impossible to hide your sexual orientation or the fact that you are a couple — even if you keep the PDAs to a minimum. You’ll definitely notice the looks of other people.

As Mindy Postoff, who writes the lesbian travel blog Bounding Over Our steps with her partner Ligeia said,

Don’t assume everyone sees you the way you see yourself. most people will see you based on the stereotypes they were raised with. Your butch appearance is a clear sign to many people in the U.S. that you’re a lesbian. In other countries, especially non-Western ones, you might just be stereotyped to being ‘a woman with short hair.’ I’ve been mistaken for a man many times before, but most (if not all of those times), they’re the ones that are embarrassed about it.

For butch-looking lesbians traveling for the first time, she recommends: “If you’ve caught the travel bug, then go to places that have similar societal norms as your own. go to places where same-sex marriage is legal and pride events are big celebrations.”

So, if you’re a lesbian about to head out on the road, here are some important things to know beforehand:

1. It’s harder to meet lesbians and find travel companies that cater to lesbians

There are many more hotels, resorts, cruises, and organized tours that cater to gay men. Sure, there are some tour operators who specialize in lesbian travel (such as Olivia), there is the occasional lesbian cruise, and there are some lesbian-owned B&Bs and hotels, but they are few and far between.

(In my experience they also tend to cater to lesbian couples and older lesbians, leaving out younger girls who are looking to meet other single girls their age on vacation.)

Most big cities also have at least one gay bar, whereas there are fewer and fewer lesbian bars.

Even on a recent check out to Berlin, a major gay hotspot, I struggled to find a lesbian party on a Friday night because the popular girls’ night only takes place every other Friday.

If you are traveling alone and want to connect with local girls, I recommend lesbian dating apps like Her or Scissr, or general dating apps such as Tinder, plenty of Fish, or OkCupid.

These apps can be used for hookups, of course, but I have never had a problem using them simply as a way to connect with a local girl to show me around or introduce me to the lesbian bar or club scene.

If you would like to go to a lesbian party, check Time Out or Purple Roofs for lesbian events. Lesbian or queer groups on Couchsurfing.org and Meetup.com are also a terrific place to ask for recommendations or find lesbian meet-ups.

2. traveling as a couple? You’ll typically tone down your relationship

If you are traveling with your partner, you will typically find yourself toning down your relationship in order to not draw attention, especially when you are traveling in regions where homosexuality isn’t widely accepted. This includes little gestures like stroking your partner’s back, using terms of endearment with each other or holding hands. things that are completely normal for straight couples are typically an absolute no-go for same-sex couples.

While this may not seem like a big deal, it can be tough at times to not be able to fully show your feelings for each other, especially on a rough travel day that doesn’t go as plLESBIAN TRAVEL: 4 things TO know before YOU hit THE road (###) Posted: 9/19/16 | September 19th, 2016